Not what I imagined...
While growing up I imagined what my life would be like in the future. Most everything I imagined was a picture perfect world. Even I was perfect. I was the perfect mother and wife who kept a perfect house and had perfect kids. Now I am in that future and here is not what I imagined...
My house is not spotless. There is lots and lots of dust and it could really use a mopping. And the boys bathroom - well we just won't go there - let me just say that a certain 7 year old could use a little aiming practice :)
I don't get the perfect dinner on the table every night. I do make dinner every day - except on the weekends, but sometimes it is just a flop of a meal. Sometimes it is good old Mac and Cheese. And sometimes - it is actually pretty decent. The important thing that I have found is that we always sit down as a family for dinner - even if that means waiting until 7 sometimes for Ben to get home from work.
I know you all will be surprised at this - but My kids are not perfect. They do not always use "yes mam and no mam" like I imagined. In fact just yesterday - I was yelled to at basketball practice that "You are the worst mom ever." That didn't settle too well and I had to discipline one of my not so perfect children - Something else I never imagined having to do.
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| My 3 amazing kids |
My kids are not all perfectly dressed and hair combed oh so perfect. In fact, just this week both my boys were wearing pants with holes in the knees. I pictured these cute little kids all dressed preppy and looking like they just stepped out of Gap or Crewcuts. But both my boys much prefer the sweatpants and t-shirt outfits - so that is how they dress - in the style that fits them, and since it fits them - it fits me too. (Although Sundays - they do dress a little more how I imagined)
A marriage that always needs work. I pictured the perfect marriage where we never disagreed about anything. What I found out the hard way was that a good marriage will always need work from both sides. And a good marriage needs to keep God front and center in all decisions.
Children who are not healthy. Before you have kids - you never picture having a child with medical needs, but we were blessed with a child who has medical needs. This is actually what inspired this blog post. As I was taking Isaac for his labs to check his liver function, I was sitting there watching him stick out his arm (I do have to turn away as they stick him as I have been known to pass out), but I started thinking that this was never what I imagined for my children. I never imagined my own child having to experience pain and sickness.
Not being the best mom and wife. I always imagined that I would do everything perfect, but I am far from it. There are days when I feel more successful than others, but I have so much to improve in my life. There is one thing that I find myself praying for almost every night and that is patience. I pray for patience when dealing with my children. If I can step back and think before I react to what they have done or said I would handle things better. I pray for patience in my marriage. When I get frustrated when yet another night he doesn't get home until late - I try to step back and be grateful that he works hard and supports his family. And obviously I don't do either of these very often as patience is still the thing I pray for every day.
A child who struggles in school. Watching my son have a hard time learning has been hard to watch. And then I see these facebook posts by moms - who brag about their child getting all A's and my initial reaction is a little bit of anger, not at that mom (she should brag - she should be proud) but because it will always be frustrating for Isaac in school. And I hate seeing my child frustrated and know that he will have many years of frustration.
Even though it is not the picture perfect life that I imagined, I will say that I wouldn't trade any part of it. My life hasn't always been "Easy Peasy" (as JJ would say), but all the experiences good and bad are a part of our lives and make me and my family who we are. And I look forward to all years to come of my life that I never imagined. - I know that sounded cheesy - lol!!!
The family I love...
